Another year..

I haven't had a lot of time to think about Taite and Seth in a deep sense. I think about them everyday, miss them everyday, but to think deeply about the fact I should have two more children here with me is very hard at the moment. I don't think I have enough mental energy to cope with everything that's happening with Jett AND the grief of my twins as well.. I sometimes feel guilty for not having time for them now their brother is here, I guess I would feel guilt if they were here too. I am looking forward to when I have Jett home and can occasionally have days where I just focus on Taite and Seth and let my grief be whatever it is... I am looking forward to a bonnie babes meeting. Not sure when I'll get to one of those though...