Missing being a twin mummy

Having Jett in NICU for so long I came across lots of twins. Twins are special. I stayed with a friend of mine the other week who has twin boys.. They were prem as well and when she was going though her NICU journey I was very detached. It hadn't been that long since I lost the twins and it was before Jett was even a twinkle.. I am now very close to this wonderful Mama so off I went to stay with her. It was strange sometimes, seeing her twins interact made me think of mine.. A lot. I think of them anyway, but I guess seeing the bond between her boys made me realise this is what I am missing out on seeing with mine. It all comes back to what should have been. I should be watching my 3 year old twins play together. I should have 3 children not 1. When answering the question of how many children I have, I wish it wasn't tainted with sadness.. I love you Taite and Seth, I imagine you are here sometimes, I think about what you would look like and how you would play together. I miss you. I wish I had you in my arms. xx