Feeling a little better now...

Well, it is nearly 7pm Christmas eve.. I have poured myself a bacardi and coke and I am a bit more relaxed and feeling a bit better.. I am at home to stay tonight and this is where I want to be.. I feel like in some ways it is my first xmas without the twins.. I think because last year I was still numb and in shock. Also because last year I should have still been pregnant, where as this year I really should have babies.. We do't have Jacob this year. Normally we alternate.. Jacob wakes up and has Santa then the other parent comes to get him around lunchtime.. This year his mother wants him for dinner as well so in stead of just having him for a couple of hours we though it better to just get him 1st thing boxing day.. Jacob will probably be so overwhelmed with all his present anyway, it will be more exciting for him to get presents the next day.. So I am going now to wrap some presents and have a few drinks with Jade.. I just will add I will be upset if when we see family tomorrow no one mentions them.. I really hope my babies get a mention even though they are not with us, as they are still part of our family..

Internet stalking again..

This is why I enrolled into my aged care course.. So I wouldn't be still sitting in my PJ's at nearly midday.. Yep, I have spent almost all morning on the internet (apart from a few minutes when I had a boiled egg for brekky).. I found this website http://www.ourforeverbabies.com/ . I am surprised I had never come across it before.. Anyway it is a forum for parents who obviously have forever babies.. So I have been stalking that forum for a while and I found some really good poems that I hadn't read before. If you would like to read them I have added them to my other website http://www.taiteandseth.webs.com/. If you have been on this blog before you would have noticed I have made some changes, added some photos etc.. It really really breaks my heart that I have been a Mummy for a year, but still only have the same photos to add.. I am feeling really ripped off right now. :(