Researching....

Yesterday I went to my cardiologist at Prince Charles Hospital.. I haven't seen her since before the babies were born/died. Anyway, she asked me what I was using for contraception.. When I told her nothing she was quite concerned and said "You know another pregnancy would be extremely high risk don't you" I said Yes but also questioned her about the fact my heart coped with the pregnancy well and the high risk OB I was under seemed to think the pre term labour was due to twin pregnancy. Although the cardiologist agreed she also said there is a a link to fontan mothers and pre term labour (Fontan was the type of op I had).. So then I went down and had my echo and after she saw the pics from that she said that my left ventricle, which is the one that does most of the work is performing 'fairly'. Not good and not normal.. She advised against pregnancy, but she must have seen the look in my eyes telling her silently to FUCK OFF I AM DOING IT ANYWAY, and said it was my decision ultimately and if I do fall pregnant they would do the best they could, I just needed to know it's a risk.. So all in all, IF I ever do fall pregnant again, I will be looking at having a premmie bub I know doctors aren't always right and there is every reason I could go on to have a healthy bub, it's just hard to hear that what happened with the twins could happen again..

So this morning I have done some research.. So far what I have found for pregnancy in fontan mothers isn't TOO bad.. It's not great, but not bad.. Found 1 case of a mother having modified fontan at 17.. Had healthy baby by emergency C section at 32wks because of threatening cava compression. Then found another study of 33 pregnancies.. 15 were live births average gestation 36.5 wks 5 elective terminations and 13 miscarriages... Follow up on live births, birth mother and baby well 1 infant had ASD.. Interesting.. That study was done in America.. 1993..

The thing that scares the absolute shit out of me is that I have obstetric problems too.. Getting pregnant is hard enough and then IF i do eventually fall pregnant I have to stay pregnant for as long as possible (obviously) but I feel like I have 2 things against me as far as going into pre term labour.. First I have to keep my cervix long and closed.. THEN I have to keep my heart providing the baby with enough oxygen so that it keeps growing and I don't have to deliver because of that.. This post is probably a bit jumbled, I am feeling like crap and trying to put all the information I have recieved into perspective.. I wish I was born a career woman and didn't have this horrible maternal yearning.. :(